A 2KU review: The Seattle Jehovah’s Witness retreat, Spike Lee directed, “remember that one time i saved lebrons ass?” Hidden GOAT card, Testimony of DM RAY RAY MUTHAFUCKIN ALLEN!
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Ohhh my lord, ooooooooooh my lord....we got one boys, we fuckin got one!
I’m gonna pass the collection plate around while i speak on this because we bout to go to church...and while we appreciate the money that jingles we rather have the kind that folds...can i get an Amen
Walter Ray Allen Jr was born on July 20th 1975 in a manger...some say his mother was even a virgin. The three wiseman (not James family, some other niggas) brought him gifts...gifts of 3’s, dunks and ice cold veins. Ray was a gifted child, it was said that he could walk on rims at the age of 8, shoot 3 pointers from the McDonald’s parking lot across the street from the gym...could turn water to Gatorade, a child born from the basketball gods.
As Ray grew older he realized that Ray was a cool name, but he needed something better...something more suited for the savior of basketball and that’s when the great prophet Spike Lee appeared and said “imma call you Jesus....Jesus shuttlesworth” and from that day forward...that’s what he’d be know across the world as.
Fast forward to 2021, Jesus has long left the game of basketball to focus on other things such as...well, Jesus Shit. But he has left us with a digital version of himself born out of the pits of hell called NBA 2k21...and only Jesus himself could bring so much light to something so very dark and ugly.
This muthafuckin card is GOD! I’m actually ready to stop writing this long ass, overly dramatic review just so i can use him again. Never EVER have i felt so confident using one card...as my nigga snoop said
When you speak of just a straight up dominant card on both sides of the court? Oh lawd...this is IT. Fuck a check list, he’s got it all! Just know that, the boy has got his own money!! I seriously can’t explain how many games this card has won me, just ridiculous...absolutely fuckin ridiculous.
Let’s start with a 3 game stat line.
Buuuuuccckkkets.
I mean what more can i say? He just don’t give a fuck...he ran out of fucks to give a long time ago.
Now let’s look at Jesus doing some clutch shit...just straight up saving me from my sins on this wretched ass game
Oh but it gets better...much better
And for his final act of kindness
DOM MO NENT! You hear me?
Kawhi, Jordan, Kobe, Billy? They are this cards disciples. He is the chosen one, our lord and 2K savior...blessed be thy name, W’s they will be done..on The court as they are in heaven.
All praise be the glory to the Holy Spirit of the Darkest of matter Ray Allen.
Amen
Rating 100/10
Cheese rating:
God tier. -
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Ray’s my favorite card in the game
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Vince carter >>>
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@ogxsuave BLASPHEMOUS!
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@ogxsuave said in A 2KU review: The Seattle Jehovah’s Witness retreat, Spike Lee directed, “remember that one time i saved lebrons ass?” Hidden GOAT card, Testimony of OPAL RAY RAY MUTHAFUCKIN ALLEN!:
Vince carter >>>
Lmao i stopped grinding for that bum after this drop
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@errolzzz i bet you did
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@sg24 bout to stone this nigga on some biblical shit
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@sg24 yeaaa
fuck a ray allen
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@12th the half court shot musr be cheese i havent heard of. No way you just pulling those with confidence
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@ogxsuave i haven’t met a Vince yet that’s flooded my Ray...i cook Carter’s on the daily.
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@ogxsuave i just pull up with Ray, Can’t do that with nobody else. I flood niggas with this card.
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@12th thats you lmao not everyone is you
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@ogxsuave Get you a Ray bruh...join me brother!
It’s glorious!!
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The same way yall say ray is better is the same as if i say vince is better
lmao personal opinion
Taller , better defense is what matters more to me not just a jumpshot
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nah id rather kill niggas with the suck card VC
Ray has no room on my team only person startin over durant is sg porzingis or dm kawhi who will be just like ray
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@ogxsuave i love Rays defense, you see that first clip? Blocking shots on the perimeter, only reason that nigga scored Is because hoe ass 2K doesn’t reward good defense lmao!
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@ogxsuave i too am waiting for Kiwi, the second coming of Jesus.
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@12th yea im sure ray is actually better im mainly trolling but i will still run vc over ray just for the hell of it plus hed only get like 7 mins a game
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@ogxsuave i feel it, i feel ya bruh. I’m just happy they made Ray cracked because I probably won’t get Kobe for a long time...at least this card can hold his own against goat Kobe’s and shit, that’s what makes him so good.
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Scary thing is Kawhi will be a better Ray. Running a Luka-Ray backcourt is a joke.
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@kobe6rings yup, Kawhi will be my end game SG...I’m almost 200 percent sure.
But Ray is not leaving my squad.
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@12th for sure i love that we have 6'8 a below options
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@kobe6rings shid no cap you can run ray and kawhi together and really go nuts
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@ogxsuave yup, niggas Is SLEEP on Larry Johnson at the 3....he’s better than opal Lebron, that card is demonic. He’s 6’7 but plays like he’s 6’11
Might write a review for him soon.
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@12th said in A 2KU review: The Seattle Jehovah’s Witness retreat, Spike Lee directed, “remember that one time i saved lebrons ass?” Hidden GOAT card, Testimony of OPAL RAY RAY MUTHAFUCKIN ALLEN!:
yup, niggas Is SLEEP about Larry a Johnson at the 3.
fosho i loved him every year
also that kenon mfer is a demon as well got my ass bbq the other day by him and hes bigger than listen arms look longer i dont trust 2kdb all that much anymore
its not on them more as the data
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@kobe6rings might think im joking but im willing to pay 1 mil for DM Kawhi and 700K For dino if he can curry
luckily Kawhi is always the side bitch in the set
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@ogxsuave said in A 2KU review: The Seattle Jehovah’s Witness retreat, Spike Lee directed, “remember that one time i saved lebrons ass?” Hidden GOAT card, Testimony of OPAL RAY RAY MUTHAFUCKIN ALLEN!:
luckily Kawhi is always the side bitch in the set
they're done with that I bet
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Bruh why is he mid on current
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I hate this game man make a card consistent on both gens
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I read a fuckin review and think “wow this card sounds good I’ll hit my friend up to see if he has him” and then he does so I go on his account and he is so mid on current
I’m held here not by choice
Let me go to next gen for gods sake -
@sssnaps it’s kinda tough, two different platforms. Shot releases and all change from current to next. Cards that are supposed to be elite, are elite on next gen....at least they got that right.
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@ogxsuave I'm with you 100%. I'd pay 1 Million for Kawhi no question. I was thinking he might be an Idols 3 card but either way he getting copped. Dino is a must as well.
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I’d drop anything for uncle Dino
Only met him in person once tho
I was one, so this story is all from my moms memory
So my family was visiting croatia, and we were at my grandmas house for family dinner
It was a reunion dinner too, so extended family like Dino was there.
I don’t remember at all but my mom has a few pictures with him in the background, and one of him holding
I look so tiny
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@12th the man is back
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yessir!
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Down 5 in OT with 30 secs left, Ray hit 2 threes to bury the poor soul I was playing. He’s never leaving the lineup from that game alone lol
This Ray card is crazy man
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The best shooter on next gen
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Awesome write-up as always
"All praise be the glory to the Holy Spirit of galaxy opal Ray Allen"
Should be Dark Matter, right?
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@lastdrop oops, force of habit lol. Thanks bro
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@12th no worries. You might appreciate that i read ur review word per word
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@lastdrop haha appreciate it bro! Definitely had fun with this one.
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Hes a little pitbull on D too. Nothing like a good ole steal into a transition 3 from half.
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