Pimpin Ain’t KNEEZY
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Back like I never left
I decided to make a pointless thread. I just want to talk man 🥲
2kG is dead, been getting my ass WHOOPED all day in 2K, all the opps are eradicated
What is there for Rod to talk about today??
For all my uncolored folk out there, I wanted to talk about the daily life of being BLACK, and I’ll start here:
Wake up in the morning, scratch my BBC, and comb the peas out of my scalp
Step outside for a little morning sunshine, and quickly step back inside for the fear of catching a heat stroke because we ABSORB HEAT
And why?
When inside, I cook me a SALTY ass breakfast consisting of 35 tablespoons of Lowry’s seasoning salt with a hint of high blood pressure, because who the fuck doesn’t like flavor?
My girl wakes up in my bed, motioning for me to kiss her even tho our breath smells like her bootyhole that I just ate last night
I put on my oversized work clothes with a white wife beater underneath, and get in my car that is a toenail clipping away from being empty
I get to work, and give my boss extra lip because he got me in this bitch at 8:30 AM on a Monday, which makes me want to tickle his bald spot and fuck his wife long dick style
My one hour lunch comes around, so I walk outside to the nearest Wendy’s to get the FO-FO-FO (WHICH THEY NO LONGER HAVE ain’t that a bitch) only to see dirty ass negroes in the kitchen arguing amongst themselves, digging in their ass crack, and wearing hairnets to cover naps upon naps
The bitch with a bonnet on taking my order gives me extra attitude which causes racist thoughts against my own kind to ricochet around my brain
I make my walk back to work, and not only is my black face glistening with sweat, but I hear white vehicle drivers’ door locks SLAM shut as if I’m going to yank them out of their cars and rob them at gunpoint
Apparently I look “suspicious”, and next thing you know:
They slam my black skinned head against the hood of their car with guns drawn, as I calmly explain that being NIGGA is not a crime
They hesitantly allow me to leave, and I walk back into work expected to perform the amount of tasks of 5 humans
The work day is over, so I stop to Walmart to get a CranStrawberry Ocean Spray drink, to quench my nigga thirst
On the drive home, I’m at a stoplight and a homeless nigga beats on my window to give him some change. And what do I do??
Drive by because, NIGGA GET A JOB
(In reality a nigga don’t have two nickels to rub together)
My girl calls and tells me she needs me to stop by the beauty supply store to pick up hair products and weave
As soon as I enter the beauty supply store, they start following me as if there aren’t 300 cameras already doing that
The total comes out to $49.73, I give the old motherfucker a $50 bill, and after examining the bill for 4 minutes, marking it with a black pen to make sure it’s real, and giving me side eye, the bastard says “Have a good one” as if I’m not going to sit there and wait for my goddamn 27 cents in change back
I finally get home after a long day, praying my woman will give me the slightest bit of coochie to relieve some stress, and guess what this heifer says?
I charge up my phone and sit in the bathroom, searching up “BBC” and go to town on my meat as this is the happiest thing that has happened to my black ass all day
Last but not least, I whip out my durag, and get ready to throw on some Chappelle’s Show, when my mother calls and tells me I need to clean my house
Meanwhile, my woman comes in telling me she needs her car fixed, the AC in the house isn’t working, she’s not getting loved enough, she wants to go out for a change, and how I’m a no good pussy pleading ass nigga…
PIMPIN AINT KNEEZY
Dear Heavenly Father,
It is hard to be a black man in America these days and while it is a tough task, nothing and I mean NOTHING, not even getting to drink Nia Long’s gotdamn bath water, could get me to switch places with the blacks who lived in America 200 years ago
I am grateful for life because many other people of my skin color get shot and killed on a daily basis for the color of their skin, being at the wrong place at the wrong time, and due to historical circumstances put in place by racists to keep us in underdeveloped areas that force us to harm each other in order to feed their families
God bless,
Pimpin Ain’t KNEEZY
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This is satire but I’m dead ass serious
THIS is what it’s like to be black in case folk were wondering -
Wheeeew GOAT title!
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In contrast, I had the day off today.
Woke up at 10 am and then sat down on my cracker ass and played Minecraft.
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@rodsquad said in Pimpin Ain’t KNEEZY:
, I give the old motherfucker a $50 bill, and after examining the bill for 4 minutes, marking it with a black pen to make sure it’s real, and giving me side eye, the bastard says “Have a good one” as if I’m not going to sit there and wait for my goddamn 27 cents in change back
i feel this one
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You really had me until the cops showed up
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@508 you thought all that happened to me today?
Shit it’s usually one per day no cap lol
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When white peoples power goes out, they panic
When black peoples power goes out, they plan it
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Beautiful
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@rodsquad said in Pimpin Ain’t KNEEZY:
I give the old motherfucker a $50 bill, and after examining the bill for 4 minutes, marking it with a black pen to make sure it’s real, and giving me side eye, the bastard says “Have a good one” as if I’m not going to sit there and wait for my goddamn 27 cents in change back
bro i feel this 100%
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And I thought my day yesterday was tough because I ran out of white wine to drink by the pool.
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Bump bc this is my favorite thread I’ve ever made
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@rodsquad Re-reading this thread is like re-watching Snow on the Bluff.
